When Is The Right Time?

Why do you want to be in an intimate relationship with the opposite sex?

What are your motives for pursuing an intimate relationship with the opposite sex?

When can someone know he/she is ready to pursue such a relationship?

Most people all over the world will definitely have an answer, some will say I desire to be loved, others will say i think it’s time for me to pursue it, some will say am trying out to see whether it will work out,some will be outright and say its for fun, I can go on and on and believe me when I tell you, everybody will have an answer.

I believe as Christians, we should enter into a serious relationship with the opposite sex when we are ready for marriage and not only for marriage but with a purpose.A mature man and a mature woman are the ones qualified for this journey. Period!!!!

A  MATURE MAN  is supposed to show his maturity by:-

1 . Being responsible:-

Are you accountable towards your actions ,are you willing to own up to make changes in your life, to become a better person, or are you living a lie trying to dodge accountability? Being responsible makes a man more reliable and definitely, he is bound to make good decisions. pertaining his life and the lives of other people. Yes! we do make mistakes once in a while but there are mistakes we can avoid when we are responsible.

2.Trust worthy:-

Can you be trusted? Do you keep your word be it you are in a good situation or a bad situation???

3.Honorable :-

Are you willing to honor God all the way with your body and by doing so, are you ready to honor the woman that God brings along in your life and uphold her in purity?

4.Humility:-

Are you so full of yourself that nobody can tell you anything? Trust me when I tell you, Humility is power. People who are proud, hardly go far and in many cases, they blow up opportunities that God brings along their way. I believe if not all of you, have heard a guy say,”I let go of a wonderful lady, due to my stupidity and pride”.

5.Love:-

Are you willing to love beyond the scars, beyond the past mistakes and embrace that lady for who she is and not what you perceive her to be? Now this where most of our young generation are failing big time, most young people are so intrigued by the container and not the content in the container. The world has turned love into lust and that’s why, many relationships are falling apart, they begin in the wrong foot of lust and not genuine love. Boys are after instant gratification which is lust but real men are after genuine Love, which involves commitment and responsibility.

6.Be Whole

Nobody on the face of the earth,will ever make you happy,secure or confident , if you are struggling with insecurities or low-self esteem from within .Thinking,you will be whole by getting into a relationship, for somebody else to make you happy or secure , you are actually setting your self for more problems than you currently have alone.Ask God in prayer to fix you first,then you can pursue a serious relationship with another whole mature woman,which is focused towards marriage.

7.Sacrifice:-

What kind of sacrifices are you willing to make on behalf of this lady, you want to settle with for the rest of your life? It’s not about what kind of gifts, which are good in terms of showering her with love and appreciation but are you willing to stand by her, defend her, and bring the best out of her?

8.Hard working :-

You might not have that big job with a high a salary scale but what’s your vision? Vision will take you places where money cannot take you. God does not waste his resources on someone who has no vision. Without a vision and a purpose, you end up wasting opportunities and resources that God brings along your way. And let’s be real here!! Who wants her daughter to be in the hands of a man, who has no direction? Absolutely no one.

9.Patience:-

Patience is a virtue that not many people like embracing in this generation. Most Young people want microwave results but as a Christian, are you willing to court in purity and uphold that lady in dignity us unto the lord??

Take note:-Boys differs from the men because they are lazy,irresponsible, disrespectful, rude, impatient, wrathful, unwilling to sacrifice and selfish.

A MATURE WOMAN  is supposed to show her maturity  by:

1.Humility:-

Are you humble enough to accept your spouse for who He is and respect him? No man wants a wife who is so full of herself, how on earth will she build a home. I have heard so many times from my male friends, they desire a woman who will accept Him and His people and not for what He has.

2.Submission:-

Some women really struggle with this but I know submission is power and not by any means weakness. God clearly states wives submit to your husbands Are you willing to submit even though you are the one calling the shots at your work place or in business. No man wants a big headed woman for a wife!!!

3.Honor:-

How do you carry yourself? Do you value purity? Do you honor your body as a woman. God clearly states in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

4.Virtue:-

Does virtue flow out of you , what I mean is,  are you kind, gentle and respectful ?

5.Loyalty:-

How loyal are you? Can you be trusted? Can someone be vulnerable with you and be safe that you will be private with the information one discloses to you, or are you the one who will go telling everyone someone’s else confidential matters in the name of praying for them yet its gossip? A mature man desires a woman whom he can be vulnerable with and still  be secure that no information will leak out.Period!!!

6.Be Whole

As i have stated in Point 6 about a man being whole to pursue a serious relationship,the same applies to you as a lady.Nobody on the face of the earth,will ever make you happy,secure or confident , if you are struggling with such issues from within .Thinking,you will be whole by getting into a relationship, for somebody else to make you happy or secure , you are actually setting your self for more problems than you currently have alone.Ask God in prayer to fix you first,then you can be ready to be pursued, by a whole mature man for a serious relationship which is focused on marriage.

7.Modesty:-

Are you modest, or are you busy spending more than you can afford and wallowing in debts in the name, you can’t do without this or that? There are some things honey! You must learn to live without, if you can’t afford that shoe, handbag or dress, well and good, you need to be content with what you have. Don’t be the woman who pressures a man to get you expensive gifts as a show of love, that’s greed and manipulation not love. A real mature woman is not impressed by expensive gifts and holidays she is beyond that.She knows very well,her man will do whatever it takes to appreciate her,when he can afford it and what is affordable per his ability.

8.Wisdom:-

Is your conversation seasoned with wisdom?? Are you busy looking for friendships to gossip or are you busy building yourself up ? At the end of the day, a mature man desires a woman who will be a home maker not a home wrecker!!!

9.Hard work:-

Are you independent as a woman or are you waiting for a man to sort out your bills?? Even though you do not have a job, you ought to reflect qualities of being industrious like the virtues woman in Proverbs 31.Moral values have changed but God’s word in regards to how a woman ought to be, have not changed. It’s not your portion as a woman of God to wait for a sponsor,to pay your bills yet compromise your values and standards.That’s the world ideology, not for daughters of the most high God.

Take note;-Girls are more focused on going to parties ,looking out for sponsors to fund their lavish lifestyles and gossiping instead of using their time to take good care of themselves and building themselves up, that’s why they are high maintenance.

A mature relationship should have boundaries, and it should be treated with respect. Children will not understand these truths. They will rebel, lie or mislead each another because they either have no focus, no true purpose, and they will seek to do what is in their own heart. They have no time to reason out consequences from their actions. So many marriages are destroyed today because two children decided to engage themselves in a relationship that is purposed for mature adults. Does this mean both the man and woman are perfect when they begin the relationship? Absolutely not, however, it does mean they are working towards perfection by maturing and allowing godly growth to produce within them. They abstain from sexual immorality, turn away from temptation, and honor God instead of their flesh.

If you are not ready for children, commitment, responsibility, or to honor your spouse and God!!! PLEASE DO NOT entangle someone along in an intimate relationship,which will definitely hit a dead end.

God Desires The Best For You.