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In some of my previous posts, i have written about acknowledging and appreciating your identity, embracing self-confidence but on this post, I will focus on an important issue that I believe, will touch almost all aspects I have written,which is SELF-LOVE . Loving yourself comes from within, nobody can offer you enough love, for you to love yourself the way you ought to. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better.
So, what is self-love?? it‘s regarding for one’s own well-being and happiness with a deep sense of appreciation. Self-Love grows from actions that mature us, from our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. It’s sad to say, most people hide from their real selves, they don’t know who they are and what they want in life. They just accept whatever people suggest or what they are seeing in the media and live that life which makes them endure life than enjoy it.
Am who I am today , solely by the grace of God and by deliberately making some choices that have brought out the real me. Please don’t get me wrong on this!!! Am not perfect either but am still work in progress, in becoming the best version of who God envisioned me to be.Some years back, I never appreciated myself, I thought I had to fit in people’s ideas of who they thought I should be, which was toxic in destroying my self-worth. I did not discover what I was supposed to do then, simply because I was busy trying to fit in to be accepted by people who never valued me. Along the way I discovered I only had one life to live and there was no rehearsal to it.This led to my journey of self-discovery and loving my self all over again. The reason, I use my real life experiences is, am not the way i used to be and I have refused to allow the past to define my future.
I have also discovered,life is an expedition of self-disclosure, of knowing who we are and by knowing that we have the ability, to change for the better by loving and taking care of ourselves Take this from me; it’s not about you having that dream job, dream car, dream house, dream spouse or let me say losing weight that should make you love yourself. Things or people should not dictate on how you see yourself. You need to love yourself enough, whether you have what have been longing for or not.
Loving your self is a choice; just the same way you choose how you want to feel, from being happy, angry or to be grateful. Make a choice to love yourself, with no self-made expectations because you are in charge of your own life. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain our short-comings and we are more centered in our life purpose and values.When you decide to do something to better yourself, don’t feel pressured that you are not going to please some people, this is your life am talking about here!!!
Take note:-When you fail to love yourself first, you end up sabotaging yourself when something good happens to you, an opportunity arises or a genuine person comes along your path because you have already created a mindset that you don’t deserve anything good. Get this from me, self-love has a great influence on who you will pick for a mate, the image you project at work, how you will treat people, how you eat or exercise, what you expose yourself to and how you will cope with problems you face daily in life.
Take note:-When you fail to love yourself first, you end up sabotaging yourself when something good happens to you, an opportunity arises or a genuine person comes along your path because you have already created a mindset that you don’t deserve anything good. Get this from me, self-love has a great influence on who you will pick for a mate, the image you project at work, how you will treat people, how you eat or exercise, what you expose yourself to and how you will cope with problems you face daily in life.
If you are struggling with loving yourself, there are few points I have shared below that will help you discover on how to love yourself first:-
1.Act on what you need and not how you feel :-What I mean is ,out of self-love you will, turn away from things which gratify you at the moment and stay focused on what you need to stay strong. You turn away from behavioral patterns that get you into trouble or keep you stuck in the past.
2.Set healthy boundaries from things, people or habits which will harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually. Not every relationship is for the keeps, not every kind of junk food is for you and not every activity is for you. You choose what you know is good for you, you just don’t settle for anything.
3.Learn to celebrate your wins no matter how small or big they are.
4.Make choices to live intentionally, If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention,
5.Treat others with love and respect :You receive what you sow, when you sow respect, love or kindness to other people, that’s exactly what you will receive back..
6.Find something to be grateful for every day, some days will be challenging but finding something to be grateful for, will help you shift your mind and energy around what’s going on.
7.Give up the need for approval from others, trust me, this is real bondage, be more mindful: of who you are, rather than on what others want you to be
8.Learn to say NO to stuff or people that do not grow you or bring out the best in you.. Saying no sometimes doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you a smart person.
9.Take good care of yourself, from how you feel to how you think, it’s one way to act on choices that reflect self-love and it’s another way, to act on choices that reflect self-destruction
10.You must love your skin, it doesn’t matter whether you are dark or light, small or big, short or tall, you can’t hate your way into loving yourself.
11.Stop the comparisons!!! There is no one on this planet like you and there will never be an original like you in the future. The only person you should compare yourself to, is you.
12.Learn to forgive yourself, yes! You have done mistakes in your life that might have costed you relationships or opportunities but when you learn to love yourself, you accept you are not perfect and you are bound to make mistakes in this journey of life. You can’t change the things you have done in the past but you can control your future
13.Be creative in expressing yourself in whatever way you like, be it drawing, dancing, singing, designing or writing whatever takes your interest do it once in a while,you have nothing to lose!!!!.
NB:- It’s not selfish to love yourself or to take good care of yourself, you are so precious to deny yourself happiness. Honey! Any genesis that brings out self-respect , self-worth to self-love, starts from within you. Stop wasting your precious energy looking outside of yourself for your value, you will never find it.
NB:- It’s not selfish to love yourself or to take good care of yourself, you are so precious to deny yourself happiness. Honey! Any genesis that brings out self-respect , self-worth to self-love, starts from within you. Stop wasting your precious energy looking outside of yourself for your value, you will never find it.
