On my previous post “A Must Read ”i wrote about identifying unhealthy relationships. This post is sensitizing on how to cut off unhealthy relationships and how to move on without burning relational bridges.
You must identify and accept the reality of an out-of-balance relationship. At times, you need to take stock of the situation and admit to yourself that a relationship just isn’t working. All of your efforts at helping or rehabilitating a person have failed. It is at that point that you need to give that person over to God. Notice that I didn’t say that you give up on the person. To give up is to walk away and say, “I don’t care what happens to you.” To give a person “over to God” is to walk away as you say, “I have done all that I can do. I’m entrusting you to God from this point on.”
When you give a person over to Almighty God, you are releasing that person from your own heart to the One who truly can heal the person, who will never fail the person, and who is totally qualified to counsel and guide and help the person. How many times can you tell a person the same things over and over and over again? Some people have been prayed for with the laying on of your hands so often that your handprints are indelibly printed on them!
If you allow yourself to be drained and distracted by someone you truly cannot help because that person does not truly want your help-only your association-then you will not be in position to help those who truly want your help more than they want your association.
Don’t try to be God to another person. There’s a huge difference between helping a person and carrying a person. You aren’t the Holy Spirit. Don’t enter into an enabling relationship in which you come to feel totally responsible for a person’s success or failure.
Become comfortable with criticism. If you do have to end a relationship, not everybody is going to be happy with your decision. For that matter, not everybody is going to be happy with you at any point or regarding anything! There’s always going to be somebody who wants you to do something other than what God is leading you to do. Nobody can please all people all the time, everywhere.
Luke 6:26 “Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for so did their fathers to the false prophets.” Occasionally you need to recognize that hurting people sometimes hurt people, and you need to be brave enough and godly enough to say, “This relationship isn’t helping you or me. This relationship isn’t healthy. We need to put an end to this.”
Trust God to help you recognize when a relationship is becoming detrimental to your business, your career, your ministry, or the health of your family life. Trust God to give you the courage to end the relationship, and then trust Him to give you broad enough shoulders and thick enough skin to take the criticism that you may face for ending the relationship.
Progressively end unhealthy relationships. It takes emotional energy to end a relationship, and if you cut every unhealthy relationship out of your life at one time, you are likely to be overwhelmed by the loss. Cut unhealthy relationships out of your life one at a time until you can look around you and say, “All of my relationships are ones that are pleasing to God. All of my relationships are ones in which there is a mutual give-and-take, a mutual blessing, a mutual edification. I am on the same wavelength with those who are close to me when it comes to values, beliefs, and goals.”
Don’t burn bridges. When you dissolve a relationship, don’t do so in anger or bitterness. There is a way to walk away from a relationship without words of hatred or criticism or the placing of blame. At the same time, walk away from an unhealthy relationship with the full intent that you will not revisit that relationship in the future. God may lead you to have a relationship with that person down the line, but you should not have the intent to come back to the relationship. Make a clean break. Make a definitive break.
There may be a situation in which someone comes to you to break off a relationship. Allow that break to occur. Don’t keep hanging on. Don’t keep trying to mend fences that are twelve-foot-high stone walls. Don’t keep revisiting the relationship in your heart, looking for a way back in. Allow the break-up to happen.And then, move forward. If you continue to look back, you won’t be qualified or given the authority to possess what God has for you. Look ahead, not back.
Every time you look back, you begin to question, “Did I do the right thing?” You second-guess your today. You become hesitant about your tomorrow.
Leave the past behind.
From #JCC Teen’s Church.
The Best Is Definitely Ahead of You.👊🏾