How to deal with skeptical People.

Happy new month lovelies,
While doing my study in regards to pursuing vision, passion, dreams and goals in life, I came across an informative article that I believe sharing it with you, will help you have a rough idea, on how to deal with skeptical people
So, who is a skeptical person?  Someone who is full of doubt,negativity and is not open minded to new ideas. If you are going to impact this generation, if you are going to do something great in your society or if you are going to change your nation, you will have to encounter skeptical people .They will discourage you from pursuing your goals and dreams, they will try to sabotage your plans, when you try to step out in faith or they will keep you from achieving your highest potential, through their own words.
So, if you have ever encountered someone who tried to bring you down, someone who tried to talk out of your dream, someone who told you it has never been done, someone who told you, you will never make it, someone who told you, you are not qualified for a certain promotion or opportunity, this post is penned down just for you.

One thing I came to realize is, skeptical people have little to add to the conversation, only endeavoring to extinguish your hopes and dreams.

Each time you meet skeptical people:-
  • Try to understand where they are coming from.
  • Do they have a valid viewpoint or
  • Are they just speaking from their own fears?
If it’s clear that they are projecting their own fears rather than giving constructive thoughts, disregard their input. Your dream, vision or goals, are too precious to entertain anyone who tries to dump toxic waste in those goals.After you have established that someone is skeptical, reduce contact with him/her, because you are not interested to deal with someone’s fears and hang-ups about your own goals.
Skeptical people don’t know how it’s like to pursue your goals. Everything they say, they say it with the intent to scare you away from your goals. Do you know why?
  • They’re actually scared themselves.
  • They’ve never done what you’re trying to do,
  • They’re scared that you’ll succeed.
  • They’re scared that if you succeed, it’ll show that they have been wrong about life all this while, and that they should be taking action when they aren’t.
  • They’re scared to discover that they’ve been undermining their potential and wasting their lives all this while.
It’s unfortunate for them, but you need to remember that these are their fears, not yours, and there’s no reason why you should own their fears about your goals.

Tips To Tackle skeptical people

1) Safeguard your goals.
Every time you tend to give airtime to a skeptical person, it’s like pouring acid over your dreams, vision or goals. Your goals are too precious to let others taint them. Don’t give skeptical people the opportunity to damage your dreams by not even raising the topic in the first place in their presence.
2) Evaluate skeptical people background.
Before considering anyone’s advice, always evaluate how the person is doing in his/her life. I’ll consider the following:
  • Is this person living a life that you want for yourself?
  • Is the person successful in the goal that you are pursuing?
  • Does this person have knowledge and expertise in what he/she is commenting on?
  • Is this person secure in Him/Herself?
If the answers are “no,” “no,” and “no,” then discount what he/she says. After all, this person is where he/she is precisely from following his/her own thoughts and advice. By heeding his/her words, it can only get you to where he/she is, not where you want to be.
For example, if you want to set up a business and you’re getting advice from people who don’t know anything about entrepreneurship and have never set up a business their entire life, you should take what they’re saying with a pinch of salt. If you want to get married and you are getting advice from people who don’t value the marriage union, you need to run,if you want to pursue your vision in empowering people in your community and someone is talking of how it has never been done??You need to ignore that person.
3) Evaluate their words.
As the CEO of your life, you are the best person to assess and decide what works and doesn’t work for you. Consider the following:
  1. What are they saying — does it resonate with you?
  2. Is there validity behind their words?
  3. Will applying this advice make you better off?
  4. Are they coming from a place of fear or love?
If the answer is “no” to questions one to three, and the person is coming from a place of fear, then this advice isn’t for you — even if it is well-intended. Don’t let yourself get weighed down by it.
4) Ignore them.
If you notice the person you are sharing your dreams with, is discouraging and offering you bad advice, just ignore that person. Just because someone has advice for you doesn’t mean that you need to heed to their advice. Cluttering yourself with people’s fears, will only distract you from your dreams, vision and life goals.

Take Note:-Don’t try to argue, or explain your stance, it’ll be a complete waste of time. Skeptical people, will come up with all reasons to justify why they are right and why you’re wrong, which will only frustrate you. Not only that, they thrive in discouraging you.If possible, try and switch topics,don’t give them more airtime  to air their doubts or negativity.

6) Have Boundaries.
Spending time with skeptical people, will only darken your view about life’s possibilities. I recommend you to have boundaries by reducing contact with them. Whether the person is a colleague, a friend, or a family member, there is no mandate that you have to spend 24/7 with them.
  • At work, there are other colleagues you can hang out with
  • Socially, find like-minded friends to spend time with.
  • At home, just because you live with your family doesn’t mean you need to spend all waking hours with them. Even when you are spending time together, you don’t need to discuss your goals with them all the time.
Sometimes it may be sad, if we have loved ones who are skeptical; it’s as if we can’t share our goals with people we love without being discouraged. However, think about it positively: perhaps they are being discouraging because they are unaware of the larger possibilities of life.

By being resolute in your goals, pursuing them, and succeeding in them, you will serve as an inspiration to them to think big and pursue their goals too.

7) Surround yourself with enablers.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so choose five great people to spend time with, as opposed to hanging out with skeptical people. Think about the people who are supportive or will be supportive, of your goals if you told them. Think about how you can increase the time you spend with them starting from today.
If you don’t have any of such people in your life, it’s okay. Think of the people out there, who are doing what you want to do, then increase your contact with them through their works, such as their books, interviews, TV shows, and so on.
8) Think back to your vision for yourself.
Think about your vision. what is your vision for your life?Whenever you get distracted by skeptical people, it’s only because you’ve taken your eyes off your goals. If that’s the case, all you need to do is to look back at them. Recall what exactly you want to achieve. Think about what exactly you want to get out of your life. Then, ask yourself if it’s worth it to put your goals on hold because of a couple of skeptical people. Don’t deny yourself of the life you should live just because of skeptical people.

At the same time, make sure you’re not being a skeptical person to others. When people share their goals with you, be sure to be encouraging and supportive to them. Don’t be a wet blanket to others just as you don’t want others to be a wet blanket to you.

I have blogged about Rare Gems and Decisions are in linkageswhich I believe are good reads, to connect with this particular post.



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