Sometime back I watched an interesting movie by Kelly Rowland and Duane Martin, known as seat filler. It’s such a funny movie and i ended up watching it too many times but recently, I thought about the script of that movie and I was puzzled, how oftentimes most people act as seat fillers, where relationships are concerned.
Let me elaborate briefly, who is a seat filler: – A person who takes up a spare seat, when the person allocated to that the seat might be held up somewhere but he/she is coming. An example of this, is during the Academy Awards or the Oscars, in which most of the audience are either receiving awards. Once they win the award, the recipient needs to wait for an appropriate time to return to their seat, and the seat filler eventually gives the seat to the guest, who ought to sit on that seat for the entire session. The seat filler, occupies that seat temporally and he/she does not enjoy the full benefits of the invited guests in that event.
I have read and listened to real life stories, of how people date for many years and one party in the relationship, is not willing to commit. It’s sad to say, most Ladies end up being victims of such scenarios, where they are in a relationship with a guy, for over 5 years and abruptly, the guy ends up marrying someone else. It’s heart breaking and most ladies are left bitter and that’s one of the root course of insecurity, fear, low-self esteem among women. Truth be told !! you were just a seat filler in that Man’s life, when he had nothing better to do at that particular time in his life .Ouch!!
Gals let’s be real, mama kept on saying ” don’t try to act like his wife. when you are actually his girlfriend and don’t try to act like his girlfriend, while you are actually his friend”. God does not believe in wasting your time gal.
It’s okay to have male friends but if you have set your sight on a man with romance in mind, don’t put yourself in a position to be disappointed. Trust me when I tell you, a man can easily separate himself from his emotions and he might be having some fun with you, until something better comes along. if you can’t handle that!! Honey don’t expose your precious heart to grief .
As a Beautiful Queen, you need to know and understand, when a man wants something, he wants it and he will do whatever it takes, to get it!! Know who wants who !!!
Stop making excuses for men who are not showing any interest or commitment in the excuse, he is shy or maybe, he is looking for the appropriate time to commit, open your eyes before it’s too late.
Red Flags you need WATCH OUT before it’s too late.
1.If your values as a born-again Christian are conflicting-
He wants the cookie before walking you down the aisle?? Honey! kiss the brother boy good-bye. A man who values you, he will actually value himself by abstaining from sex before marriage. We also need to know, as born again believers, sex is sacred and it’s usually more painful and heartbreaking to let go of a relationship, if you had given your precious gift, to a random guy who is not your husband. No amount of sex, can ever keep a man. A man who loves you will wait…………………
2.He won’t introduce you to his family.
When you’re in a relationship, talk of meeting the family should come up. Maybe you don’t meet them right away, but he should give you some sort of indication that it’s on the horizon. At the very least, he should let you know that his family is aware of your existence. If he doesn’t talk about his family, or changes the subject anytime you bring it up, it’s a sign that he has no intention of making the introduction. When a man is serious about a woman, he brings her into his world. By keeping you away from his family, he’s essentially saying, he does not see you being in his world for the long run.
3.You don’t know anything real about him.
You can talk to someone for hours and hours every day and not know anything real about them. You might know details about their life, but you don’t know who they are, their real and true self that exists beneath all the superficial fluff. When a guy is serious about a woman, he shares himself with her. He lets her into his world and shows some level of vulnerability. When a guy opens up to you, when he shares his dreams, his fears, his hopes, his wishes, his motivations, etc., he is investing in you. If a guy doesn’t share his true self with you, if he won’t let you see who he is at his core, the chances are high that he’s not in it and doesn’t see a future with you.
4.He Brings Out Your Worst
Relationships are supposed to bring out your best. The sad fact is, a lot of women end up shackled to relationships that bring out their worst. A relationship should lift you higher, it shouldn’t drag you down. It should help you reach your fullest potential and become the best version of yourself. Of course relationships can’t be all sunshine and roses all the time. They take patience and work. However, no amount of work can salvage a dysfunctional relationship!!!
5.He doesn’t follow through with his word.
A man’s integrity is pretty synonymous with his manhood. His ability to follow through on big promises, can be easily traced back to his ability to follow through on little ones. When he sets a time to meet, is he usually on time? When he gets you excited about a plan, does he follow through on it? When he talks about his goals, does he take action? Does he call you when he says he will? Is he more committed to results or excuses?
6.He leaves you out of most of his future plans.
You can tell a lot about how committed a man is by his capacity to envision and get excited about a future with you. If your man is not taking into account your needs and desires in his future plans, this shows that he’s either not taking the steps to move into a longer-term relationship or that his fear of losing freedom today, is more powerful than his desire to commit.
Set your standards for the future now.Being a virtuous woman, is carrying yourself with dignity, which will also empower a man to be a gentleman. It does not matter where are you coming from,your past,your academic level,your state of wealth or your social status, the way you see yourself,speak about yourself and think about yourself,will determine the way that man will handle you.
Mirror on God’s word and know you are Valuable
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,And obtains favor from the Lord.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;Marvelous are Your works,And that my soul knows very well.
Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,But a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
1 Corinthians 11:8-9
For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.
Who can find a virtuous wife?For her worth is far above rubies.
Don’t allow the pressures around you, make you settle for anything less than God’s will for your life.You are not a TEMPORAL FIX!!You are a FAVOR CARRIER.